Does Cheating Affect Divorce in Long Island, New York?

Having a spouse who cheated on you is one of the most painful experiences you can face. The sense of betrayal runs deep, leaving you questioning your marriage, your future, and where you stand legally if you decide to end the marriage. If you’re in this situation, you may find yourself asking: Does cheating affect divorce in New York? While the emotional impact of infidelity is enormous, the legal system views it more narrowly than many people expect. In Long Island divorce cases, adultery can influence certain parts of the divorce process, but often in more limited ways than most spouses realize.

This blog will break down how New York divorce law treats infidelity, including its effect on property division, child custody, and spousal support. We’ll also look at when adultery matters more, and when it may not affect your divorce agreement at all.

Divorce Law in New York: No-Fault and Fault-Based Grounds

Since 2010, New York has recognized no-fault divorce, which allows either spouse to file on the grounds that the marriage has been irretrievably broken for at least six months N.Y. Dom. Rel. Law § 170(7). This is the most common basis for divorce today.

However, adultery is still listed as a fault-based ground for divorce under N.Y. Dom. Rel. Law § 170(4). To prove adultery, one spouse must show that the other engaged in voluntary sexual relations with someone outside the marriage. Courts require a high standard of proof, often including corroborated evidence such as witness testimony, private investigator reports, or financial records. Text messages or personal admissions alone may not be enough unless supported by independent evidence.

Key points about adultery as grounds:

• Filing based on adultery may make the legal process longer and more expensive.
• Many people still choose no-fault divorce to avoid a contested trial over intimate details.
• Fault-based divorce is rarely pursued unless there is a strategic reason, such as addressing significant financial misconduct tied to an affair.

How Cheating May Affect Property Division

New York follows the principle of equitable distribution, meaning marital property is divided fairly, though not always equally, between the two spouses N.Y. Dom. Rel. Law § 236(B).

Generally, adultery by itself does not alter property division. Courts do not punish a spouse financially for infidelity. However, there are limited situations where cheating may affect asset division:

• Wasteful dissipation of marital assets: If one spouse spends large sums of marital money on an affair, such as gifts, trips, or rent for another partner, the court may compensate the other spouse by awarding a greater share of assets. To succeed with such a claim, you must show clear proof, such as bank records, credit card statements, or receipts.
• Domestic violence or cruel and inhuman treatment: If infidelity is tied to abusive behavior, it may weigh more heavily in the judge’s decision on dividing marital property. That said, New York courts generally require a pattern of extreme conduct for “cruel and inhuman treatment” to influence asset division. A single act of adultery is usually not enough.

For most divorces, judges focus on financial factors such as income, earning capacity, length of the marriage, and contributions of each spouse, not marital fault.

Cheating and Child Custody Decisions

One of the most common concerns in family law cases is whether adultery will affect child custody. Courts in New York, including those in Suffolk County and Nassau County, base custody decisions on the best interests of the child N.Y. Dom. Rel. Law § 240.

Cheating alone does not make someone an unfit parent. However, the court may consider infidelity if:

• The cheating behavior directly impacts the child’s wellbeing (for example, introducing children to unsafe partners).
• The affair involves exposing the child to inappropriate or harmful circumstances.
• The parent’s conduct shows poor judgment that affects the child’s future stability.

Judges also consider whether each parent fosters a positive relationship with the other parent and whether infidelity has distracted a parent from child-rearing responsibilities. In Nassau and Suffolk Counties, courts often favor joint custody unless one parent’s actions clearly harm the child’s stability or best interests.

Impact on Spousal Support and Child Support

Spousal support (sometimes called alimony) and child support are determined primarily by financial factors, not marital fault.

• Spousal support: New York courts calculate maintenance based on income, earning capacity, and the length of the marriage (N.Y. Dom. Rel. Law § 236(B)(6)). Cheating usually does not affect the award unless linked to financial misconduct.
• Child support: Payments are determined using the Child Support Standards Act N.Y. Fam. Ct. Act § 413. Infidelity has no role in calculating the obligation.

Unless there is financial waste tied to the affair, cheating does not change support obligations.

When Adultery Matters More in Divorce Cases

While cheating is not the centerpiece of most divorce cases in New York, it may carry weight in certain circumstances:

• Domestic violence or cruel and inhuman treatment: If the affair involves abusive behavior, it may justify filing on fault grounds and affect the divorce agreement.
• Waste of marital property: Spending on an affair may influence equitable distribution.
• Contested divorce: If one spouse insists on fault-based grounds, adultery can make the entire divorce process more contentious and costly.

In some cases, a lawyer for divorce may use adultery as leverage in settlement negotiations, particularly if it is tied to financial misconduct. However, proving fault rarely changes the final divorce decree significantly unless linked to money or child-related issues.

Collaborative Divorce and Legal Options on Long Island

Many couples in Long Island turn to collaborative divorce or mediation rather than courtroom battles. These processes focus on reaching a fair divorce agreement outside of litigation. Even if adultery occurred, you and your spouse may decide that a less adversarial process better protects your family’s future.

Benefits of collaborative law include:

• Preserving privacy rather than making adultery part of a public record
• Reaching agreements on child custody, spousal support, and property division in a less hostile environment
• Allowing both spouses to prioritize the child’s future rather than fault
• Often being faster and less costly than litigation, particularly in fault-based divorce cases

Judges frequently encourage couples to consider mediation before going to trial, especially when children are involved. A Long Island divorce attorney can explain whether collaborative divorce, uncontested divorce, or litigation is the right legal option for your situation.

Talk to Long Island Divorce Attorneys Who Understand the Weight of Infidelity

Cheating can leave lasting emotional scars, and it often feels like the central issue in your marriage. Legally, however, adultery in most Long Island divorce cases has only a limited impact. What truly matters is protecting your rights, your children, and your financial future as you move forward.

The attorneys at Hedayati Law Group, P.C. are here to discuss your legal options. Our law firm represents clients in Suffolk County, Nassau County, and across Long Island in contested and uncontested divorces. With over 150 years of combined legal experience, we offer legal representation that aligns with your goals and protects your rights.

Your online search for “divorce lawyers near me” brought you to this blog. Take the next step and call (516) 334-4100(516) 334-4100 or complete our confidential online form to schedule your free initial consultation. Whether your case involves collaborative divorce, child custody, or property division, our law office can guide you through the entire divorce process.

We’re here to protect your rights so you can move forward on your terms.

Copyright © 2025. Hedayati Law Group, P.C.  All rights reserved.

The information in this blog post (“post”) is provided for general informational purposes only and may not reflect the current law in your jurisdiction. No information in this post should be construed as legal advice from the individual author or the law firm, nor is it intended to be a substitute for legal counsel on any subject matter. No reader of this post should act or refrain from acting based on any information included in or accessible through this post without seeking the appropriate legal or other professional advice on the particular facts and circumstances at issue from a lawyer licensed in the recipient’s state, country, or other appropriate licensing jurisdiction.

Hedayati Law Group, P.C.
666 Old Country Road, Suite 444
Garden City, NY 11530
(516) 334-4100(516) 334-4100
https://www.hedayatilaw.com/